The most difficult thing in this world is to know a person before you make a relationship with them. In this post we will know what to look for and what not to look for.
However, I strongly believe that no matter how careful you are, you can not judge a person with 100% accuracy. The best you can do is, to maintain good karma. As long as you are actually on the path of Dharma, no bad person will become important in your life. And therefore they can never harm you.
However, the problem is that most people feel they are on the path of Dharma even when they are actually the quite opposite. Such people often wonder why they are suffering when they have done no bad!!
The article below was written sometime earlier. However, I later realized what I have written above. Not deleting the article, as it can still make sense to a few.
What to Look for in a Person?
- Character: A person with good character is one who can control his desires and greed. Such a person is honest, not fearful of speaking truth, takes responsibility when he/she does something wrong, and has courage to stand for truth even when odds are against him/her. He/She will give preference to righteousness over anything else, be it money, convenience, or enjoyment.
- Simplicity: YogMaya (God) has already given us features and qualities that attract right people towards us and we don’t need to over do it by using make up, cosmetic surgery, or wearing expensive/revealing clothes that will only attract people who have no control over their desires and indris. Such people who have little control over their desires, will get attracted to a more wealthy, or well dresses or more beautifully cured face and body at the very first opportunity. Its simple. You can not make them control their Indris/Senses/desires after you are in their life. Their control over their desires/Indris remains the same.
So, First avoid everything that attracts people who are greedy of wealth, looks, and luxury lifestyle. This can be achieved by living a simple life, not boasting of your wealth, and dressing up simply. Once these greedy people are not around you, look for other people who are doing the same. Who dress up neatly wearing simple cloths and live a simple life even when they have the money.
A poor person leading a simple life does not guarantee that he/she is a simple person. Judging such a person is impossible. They usually change when they earn or acquire money (through inheritance, job/business, marriage, or alimony) and go crazy like hell. - How He/She Handles Criticism: The way a person responds to criticism speaks volumes about their emotional intelligence, resilience, and openness to growth and adjustment. It reflects their capacity to navigate conflict, foster healthy relationships, and integrate feedback effectively. How someone handles critique often reveals their level of maturity and their ability to face challenges in a constructive manner. On the other hand, someone why gets angry and starts arguing in loud disrespectful way, without giving any logical reasoning is best avoided.
- How He/She Handles Responsibility: A person’s approach to responsibility is reflected in their actions, decisions, and how they confront challenges. It’s revealed through their ability to honor commitments, relations, acknowledge mistakes, and take ownership of results—whether successes or failures.
- How He/She is Making Money: Many people are in a hurry to make money and they look for ways to make money quickly and easily. Most of such methods of making money are unrighteous if not illegal and bring shame and repentance in the long term as we grow older. For example, these days its easy to make money especially for girls by making sensational videos and uploading on YouTube or Instagram. Such women surely repent in the long term. Also, there are a few government jobs in Police, Forest, and Revenue Department which are infamous for corruption. Stay cautious of people who are making money through such unrighteous means. Because they don’t bring money back home, they bring home misfortune. This may manifest as toxic environment at home, legal cases, poor health, etcetra.
What Not to Look for in a Person?
- Intelligence: While the dumb people are not desired, you must not give too much importance to the academically intelligent people. Intelligent people are often very proud and are the ones who make fool of you or even insult you.
- Charm/Strong Personality: Fashionista, overly charming and sweet to talk people, are usually the kind of people who are covering up their real self. So, be careful with such people.
- Physical Appearance: Never give too much importance to the looks, as it is deceptive. However, do avoid people with disabilities. It may sound cruel. But as a believer, we got to believe that the person born with a disability is result of that person’s karma of previous births. Nothing wrong in helping them, but avoid making them a part of your life.
- Accumulated Wealth: Money is important, but don’t give too much importance to the accumulated wealth of a person. Such people are often narcissist, disrespectful, and braggart.